How to be happy for someone else’s success and shut out your negative thoughts
Don’t be jealous, be the joy
Believe it or not, I have had moments where I felt so disconnected to people who have achieved what I dream of. About 5 years ago, I had friends and connections to people who are business owners, speakers, writers, … and when I compared myself to them, I was just a girl trying to learn English in a new country. It was so hard for me to feel that way because I was in a career transition. Only a few months ago from that moment, I was a Human Resources Specialist in an international company and I was good at it. But then, I chose to start my career over so I was not that professional girl in my new environment.
Time passed and now I am a business owner, a speaker too, but do you think I never compare myself to others anymore? NOPE! I still do like you do (come on now)
Those feelings are natural, they make us human but what we can do is to catch them, feel them and then choose again!
It sounds simple, but hard to apply, can you relate?
Let me share a little bit more:
For instance, there is a person that you admire but somewhere in your gut you are jealous, like you are craving for what he has. Let’s say he is a business owner and an influencer in his industry. And, he has an amazing audience who supports him all the time and shows up to whatever he does. Maybe in his audience there are your friends too but they are not coming to your product vs his. You feel separated from your friends and also you feel you are not good at what you do. It is super normal that you can feel unsuccessful because you have lost some audience that are important for you.
BUT! Let’s use the exercise I shared below “CATCH, FEEL and CHOOSE again.
When you feel sad, jealous, separated or whatever you feel when you have those moments, CATCH yourself in that moment.
- Ask yourself what am I feeling right now?
- Why am I feeling this way?
Then think about your answers and FEEL it. No, really feel it. Don’t distract yourself because it is not a good feeling. And that’s what your mind will try to do, your mind will try to escape from the pain. But stay there, embrace it like how you embrace the feeling when you are so happy. After you feel down enough or enough to understand that it is not the stage of emotion you want to be in, pause…
Start thinking about how you would like to feel and how you would like to see yourself in that situation. CHOOSE again how you want to show up for you and for others. CHOOSE to feel good, CHOOSE to spread love, CHOOSE to congratulate someone and put yourself in his shoes because he had an audience that you want to have, it means that YOU CAN have it too. How? If you only focus on what brings you JOY instead of focusing on the separation.
And if it is still triggering you, then ask your friends why they like him so much, look at his work and what he does differently than you. And then remind yourself that everybody has their own audience and your friends don’t have to be your audience in business as well.
This is the same thing in relationships.. You might be a single person and whenever you see a couple, you might get the trigger of why I don’t have what they have. Again it is super normal.
Follow the same steps you just read and repeat this important sentence to yourself “If somebody has what I want, I mostly CAN have it too. If it is too close for me to see, then it is so exciting that I CAN receive mine pretty soon!!”
Perspective is everything and life is made of our CHOICES. So choose wisely and even if you fail then CHOOSE AGAIN.
Until next time, stay with joy...
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